Why We Fear To Grow Old

Strangers have devoured his strength, and he knoweth it not: yea, gray hairs are here and there upon him, yet he knoweth not. Hos 7:9  

The Ugly and the Beautiful

A young beautiful woman saw a picture of an old woman splashed in a front page newspaper article. The old woman was black, gaunt, and her face was lined up with deep furrows. ‘Is that how I will look when I grow old?’ the young woman was aghast. She quickly turned her eyes from the offending picture and walked away in a huff. She never looked back again.

We live in a world, where our average age according to the Bible, is only threescore and ten. I wondered, if when she reaches there, will she still be running? 

Myself I spent my entire youth (18-37) running. But I didn’t know from what. Then one day the sky fell on my face and I had nowhere to run.

I was 38, in a City estate barber shop run by a chatty young fellow. A quarter of my head at the time was a scattered grey patch (by 30 I had already acquired my first speck of white).

The young man was enthusiastic, probably because I was his first customer that morning. I had with me a brown metal walking cane, the result of a recent case of a stroke. I placed my cane on the wall and dropped down on his seat. And that is when the rumble in the sky went off. ‘Habari ya mzee?’ (How are you old man?)

That was the first time I heard I was old. I flinched in pain but I didn’t show it. Cautiously I probed him further. ‘How old do you think I am?’

‘75’ he said without hesitation.

I swallowed and smiled. ‘Really?’

‘Yes sir!’ I stared at my face on the wall mirror, and obliquely, I wondered if the young man had not swallowed something hard that morning. Me, at 38, but looking 75? To me he sounded like Elihu, that imperious young friend of Job who spoke like a man. 

Next he asked how many children I had and I shocked him with the truth. But he didn’t believe. He insisted that I was married and that I had at least five children. I didn’t talk to him after that.

The Craving for Immortality

One reason why we fear to grow old is because we crave immortality. No one in his right mind believes he will die at seventy.

Another reason is that we cleave stubbornly to our childhood memories, and in a way, no one likes those to fade. In childhood life is awash with possibilities. Love beckons, laughter fills the air, and there are no thorns in sight.

But then we leave the nest. We throw ourselves headlong to start life ‘and be counted.’ The hard lessons begin immediately.

Suddenly we realize the sun does not shine brightly every day, and that flowers do wither. Love throws its arrows and it draws blood. And by midlife the thorns have started to pierce.

Life is a Climb

But who can discount our resilience? We get bruised alright but we fight on. We clear the thorns and dig afresh. We plant and wait, and life’s meaning is shrouded in the sky.

Like noon sunlight, the rays of disappointments, failures and victories merge and become one. But we emerge out of the valley finally. We begin to climb. And in a nutshell that is life. We are always climbing from birth.

The Treasury of David

We owe it to David, God’s poet, to mark down every feeling he has felt for us.

In Psalms, more than any other book, we are glutted with feelings – David’s raw, visceral and gut-wrenching feelings. In psalms we read the story of our hearts. ‘Thy gentleness hath made me great’, he sings, and we know it is true with us as it was with David.

In his old age David’s flesh was dead but not his mind. It was still climbing to a place we all aim at although we don’t see it.

David saw it. It was a place larger than his palace or his young virgin Abishag, the most beautiful young woman in the whole of Israel (1 Kings 1:1-4). David was climbing towards heaven. Before him Moses and Abraham had seen the place.

For they that say such things declare plainly that they seek a country. And truly, if they had been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they might have had opportunity to have returned. But now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city. Heb 11:14-16  

It is that place where there will be no old age, pain or tears (Rev 21:1-4). I pray God would grant us all that vision, so we can sing with Moses this song: ‘So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom’ (Psa 90:12). 

David couldn’t see Abishag. He saw greater things ahead. He was climbing and what he saw in his upward vision was better than any earthly beauty.

‘For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting’ (Gal 6:8).

For thou art my hope, O Lord GOD: thou art my trust from my youth. Psa 71:5    

By thee have I been holden up from the womb: thou art he that took me out of my mother's bowels: my praise shall be continually of thee. Psa 71:6

Cast me not off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength faileth. Psa 71:9 

Now also when I am old and grayheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come. Psa 71:18

The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away. Psa 90:10  

And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you. Isa 46:4 

 

  

The World and Idols: Of Leaders and False Prophets

For the leaders of this people cause them to err; and they that are led of them are destroyed. Isa 9:16 

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Hos 4:6a 

This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. 2Ti 3:1  

The House Built on Sand

There is one word which is famous among communications experts, which is called ‘Spin.’ The work of a spin doctor is to spin words, which to a receptive mind, will sound as truth. It is essentially a secular art where people get paid to lie.

For politicians, spin is a life line, for ‘the love of truth is never considered a political virtue,’ according to political theorist Hannah Arendt.

With the advent of television and mass media what we sometimes believe as truth is not really our own reality but that which the media have created – or political leaders – or false prophets.

‘Millions are deceived every day…all because of spin. ‘Spin’ is the polite word for deception. Spinners mislead by means that range from subtle omission to outright lies. Spin paints a false picture of reality, by bending facts, mischaracterizing the words of others, ignoring or denying evidence, or just 'spinning a yarn'--by making things up." (Brooks Jackson and Kathleen Hall Jamieson, unSpun: Finding Facts in a World of Disinformation. Random House, 2007)

The rise of prosperity gospel can be traced to this love of pop culture. If, for example, one is intending to start a proper corporate church, it would be counterproductive to good business practice to preach the Suffering Jesus of the Bible.

However the trouble with any form of popularity gospel, with its great appeal to the flesh, is that it will always be very weak foundationally, especially on the serious questions of life like man’s greed, pain, suffering and the sovereignty of God.

The Poverty of the Stony and Thorny Grounds

A popular fare is the classic seed which fell on a stony and thorny ground, which is told in Jesus Christ’s Parable of the Sower:

And these are they likewise which are sown on stony ground; who, when they have heard the word, immediately receive it with gladness; And have no root in themselves, and so endure but for a time: afterward, when affliction or persecution ariseth for the word's sake, immediately they are offended. And these are they which are sown among thorns; such as hear the word, And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful. Mar 4:16-19  

The seed which falls on the good ground usually takes time, labour and patience. That is why it yields a rich harvest in the end. Be encouraged to take time in your study of the word of God. Pray, attend Bible classes, go to fellowships, and join in prayer meetings. 'Break up your fallow ground, and sow not among thorns' (Jer 4:3b).

Life is Hard, To Portray it as Simple is a Lie

Solomon the Preacher did not rest on a simple solution to life’s problems. He went deep. And it was from that serious depth that he emerged with the hard truths about life. Jesus too never gave simple answers to life’s questions. He compared life to a ‘yoke’ or a ‘burden’. But with him as the teacher, life becomes light, ‘for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light’ (Mat 11:29-30). Jesus had no fear or respect of persons. He spoke the blunt truth. And in the end that is what makes a man really free. 

This is in contrast to false prophets’ behavior and that of their followers. It is here that simple answers to life’s problems abound. 

That this is a rebellious people, lying children, children that will not hear the law of the LORD: Which say to the seers, See not; and to the prophets, Prophesy not unto us right things, speak unto us smooth things, prophesy deceits: Isa 30:9-10  

The prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests bear rule by their means; and my people love to have it so: and what will ye do in the end thereof? Jer 5:31  

And all the prophets prophesied so, saying, Go up to Ramothgilead, and prosper: for the LORD shall deliver it into the hand of the king. And the messenger that went to call Micaiah spake to him, saying, Behold, the words of the prophets declare good to the king with one assent; let thy word therefore, I pray thee, be like one of theirs, and speak thou good. 2Ch 18:11-12  

Because, even because they have seduced my people, saying, Peace; and there was no peace. Eze 13:10a 

We can all aspire for Solomon’s riches in this life (700 wives plus 300 concubines and silver spoons and streets made of gold). But we shall also, in the end, be more sorrowful than happy.

For I know this, that after my departing shall grievous wolves enter in among you, not sparing the flock. Also of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them. Act 20:29-30   

Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Mat 7:15 

For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables. 2Ti 4:3-4  

But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction. And many shall follow their pernicious ways; by reason of whom the way of truth shall be evil spoken of. And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not. 2Pe 2:1-3  

For when they speak great swelling words of vanity, they allure through the lusts of the flesh, through much wantonness, those that were clean escaped from them who live in error. While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants of corruption: for of whom a man is overcome, of the same is he brought in bondage. 2Pe 2:18-19  

 

The World and Idols: The Weight of Glory

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2Co 4:17-18  

The Shadows of Glory

God made man in his image and glory. Indeed everything God created reflects his glory. ‘The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork’ (Ps 19:1). His glory is visible in the mane of a lion and in the petal of a flower.

A child is born not only with an appetite for food but also for glory. A child is an attention seeker. He struts like a king while she sways like a queen. God put her or him here for a purpose, they declare boldly in silence or in tears. And who will dare stop him or her?

Our craving for glory is what sealed Eve’s fate (and ours) before we saw the last of Eden. But no sooner had we seen outside than we started to dream about how to reach heaven. We wanted a name, to be known, and to be famous here. Hadn’t Satan promised that we would be like gods? He is still promising that. 

In childhood we struggled to give this glory form, either in the toys we created, or from the dreams we dreamt at night.

But suddenly we died. And some loudly wondered what was the whole purpose of life – if this was the end?

No less a mortal than Solomon the King (the man who lived in glory all his life than anyone else - 700 wives plus 300 concubines) was rattled endlessly by this question. In the end Solomon spoke not only for himself but for the whole humanity when he moaned: ‘Therefore I hated life; because the work that is wrought under the sun is grievous unto me: for all is vanity and vexation of spirit’ (Ecc 2:17).

For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope. Rom 8:20 

He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. Ecc 3:11  

The Glory of the Wilderness and the Glory of the City

In the wilderness God was ever visible even though they lived in tents. His glory dropped on them like rain.

But then the Promised Land came. They settled down, planted vineyards, built houses, drank, and forgot God. Besides they embraced the customs and gods of the Canaan. In short they did everything God had warned them not to do. Is anyone listening?

By the Rivers of Babylon

So in anger God exiled them all to Babylon. And it was while there that they found their God again. They tried to sing, but their words dissolved in their mouths. How could they sing the LORD’S song in a strange land? (Ps 137).

Being exiled makes the desire for home great. ‘For we are strangers before thee, and sojourners, as were all our fathers: our days on the earth are as a shadow, and there is none abiding’ (1Ch 29:15). 

Disobedience and Lust  

Essentially our coming short of the glory of God is due to our disobedience. We want a quick glory but we can’t have it because we love darkness than light. We are children of wrath and where wrath pervades there is a very fragile life (‘From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?’ ‘And he gave them their request; but sent leanness into their soul’).

Man (human kind) develops best (rising early and breaking barriers) only under God’s leading. Once a man is imbued with that spiritual vigour there is usually no glory a man cannot attain to. ‘I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.’

Are you living in a shack in Kibera and you are despising the day of small things? Go to the church and repent. When you come back you will find God went ahead of you and has prepared for you a feast.

Are you in Karen and feeling empty? Go to a slum and lose yourself in their lives. You will find yourself then. Even more you will find your God there. Afterwards go home and you will find God waiting for you at the banqueting table.

But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord. 2Co 3:18  

This is the bread which cometh down from heaven, that a man may eat thereof, and not die. Joh 6:50  

Idols, the Love of Money, and the Glory of Shame

It is no coincidence that wherever the love of money is there will also be many idols there (see ‘the young rich ruler’). For riches, when they come in plenty, they nearly always make God irrelevant. It was while in the Promised Land that Israel prospered. And the next thing is that their idols multiplied.

Pleasure is not evil per se (And thou shalt rejoice in every good thing which the LORD thy God giveth thee). It is only when pleasure becomes the sole purpose of life that it becomes idolatry.

And people slide easily into a Gomorrah and Sodom state when there is a glut of pleasure and idleness.

What is our state of the nation? Do we hate corruption? Do we elect only the upright and God fearing leaders? Do we give God his due in praise and tithes? Do we worship our sportsmen and political leaders?

In conclusion king Solomon had these sober words for all of us: ‘Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil’ (Ecc 12:13-14).

And Augustine confessed: ‘Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.’    

The perfect glory is not here yet. What we see through a glass darkly is nothing but a shadow. But the real glory is coming soon. Will you be in it?

For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries. 1Pe 4:3 

Their sorrows shall be multiplied that hasten after another god. Psa 16:4a 

Hath a nation changed their gods, which are yet no gods? but my people have changed their glory for that which doth not profit. Jer 2:11 

As they were increased, so they sinned against me: therefore will I change their glory into shame. Hos 4:7  

And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things. Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. Rom 1:23-25  

 

 

  

The World and Idols: How and Why a Tragic Flaw Happens

Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Col 3:5  

Fossilized Fear and A Tragic Flaw

It is a complex subject yes. But there is a sense in which (speaking from the point of view of my religious faith) this can be classified simply as fossilized fear.

Fear is powerful. And the fear of failure is very real. The scythe of an exam can paralyze. It can hang over one’s life like an ogre. This is because the world culture is predicated upon success and not failure. You succeed and the doors to utopia are opened. But you fail and the world buries you.

This fear can be as strong as death. And the irony is that this malady afflicts, especially, the very bright people amongst our midst!

The fear of being discovered later that one isn’t as bright as he makes believe can be mind numbing. And this pressure only grows larger as the exams approach! It becomes a tyranny, and fearing a nervous breakdown, the individual rebels – or he falls sick.

One way out is to sit the exam in his sickness, and later, if he fails, to use his sickness as an excuse. Or he might simply refuse to take the exams and recant school altogether.

He takes, as it were, a huge step of faith from the conventional to unconventional. Others can sweat themselves to death in the rat race to become number one and win prizes and plaudits from the world. He breaks free from that prison. But he enters into another prison, that of self-glorification. And that is the most pervasive of all prisons.

His books, his vast knowledge and his mind become his friends and his gods.

On the surface this might sound idealistic, and even glamorous. It may even resemble the Christian faith, but there is a huge difference. The one is a theist, and the other an atheist. The one has one God only who directs all his life, and the other is his own god, with corollary gods which he picks from the world.

Part of the outsider’s tragic flaw is born of this: he has no one fixed abode. He is eclectic. He denies, he repudiates, he negates, he contravenes and he differs. A tragic flaw therefore, in one sense, is really the failure of an individual to cope in a fast changing world. Lacking the courage to trust himself fully, he subsequently blows into a full scorn for everything beautiful in life including God.

And it is precisely at this point that the tragedy of his life begins.

Why a Tragic Flaw Happens

The first statement of the Bible establishes the existence of God. ‘In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.’ 

But the atheist takes the war to God’s door when he denies his existence. It is an act of rebellion, and in a secular sense, it is akin to committing treason.

For John in the beginning of his book writes, ‘In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.’

Next, God’s first commandment is forthright: ‘Thou shalt have no other gods before me.’(Exo 20:3).  

But the atheist stands by his word. And God stands by his word. And so the battle is set in array. And the dawn of a dark tragedy begins to loom large in the horizon.

Each one of us has an inborn (though faint) knowledge of God. Each one of us has inborn appetite to know more, hence the endless questions with which children bombard their parents.

It is from those questions (if you can remember well) that we began to perceive the greater mystery which breathes over our lives.

The Children of Wrath

We are all rebels, for ‘there is none that doeth good, no, not one.’ We are all ‘children of disobedience’ and ‘the children of wrath’ (Eph 2:2-3). But meekly we admit our guilt before God and he forgives. But not so the atheist. It is this wrath which drives him mad. And by his rebellion he thinks to kill God from his mind and life.

But he can’t, because he is made in the image of God. He has the breath of God in him, and he has a soul which cries and sings like a baby. But he refuses to hear. And the battle rages.  

We are not just physical beings but we are also spiritual. And our lives take a complete different trajectory when we deny one from the other.

I’m convinced it is this dichotomy which the world calls a tragic flaw. But it is not a flaw. It is a rebellion, and it is worse than witchcraft. It is idolatry (1Sam 15:23a).

The Tragic Flaw and Sin

We want happiness, but we can’t be happy without peace. And being God created human beings possessing flesh and blood and a heart, we can’t have peace without God. For all issues of life are in the heart. And who can know the heart of man except God?

God is not just a spirit but a personal being too. He gets hurt, and he is jealous. He cries and he laughs too. He can be our friend or our enemy according to what we choose.

But above all God cares. That is why he wouldn’t want anyone to rest on a false hope like that of trusting in an idol.

Ultimately anyone who lives in sin is tragically flawed, and it is that flaw which God wants to correct.

Wisdom crieth without; she uttereth her voice in the streets: She crieth in the chief place of concourse, in the openings of the gates: in the city she uttereth her words, saying, How long, ye simple ones, will ye love simplicity? and the scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge? Turn you at my reproof: behold, I will pour out my spirit unto you, I will make known my words unto you. Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded; But ye have set at nought all my counsel, and would none of my reproof: I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh; When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you. Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me: For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD: They would none of my counsel: they despised all my reproof. Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices. Pro 1:20-31  

Secret Faults and Presumptuous Sins

Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou me from secret faults. Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression. Psa 19:12-13  

How and why do Secret Faults Happen?

They are the sins which are secret even to ourselves. The preacher and writer Morrison wrote an excellent piece on this subject, and I owe him for this abrupt blog.

All of us have them. But all of us don’t see them because of self-love. It is why it is the easiest thing on earth to see a mote in another’s eye, but fail to see the beam which is in ours.

The fact that God uses us – these breakable and irascible vessels – to be his witnesses in the world should greatly humble us.

Because we are human. We can blow up like a missile at one time, and at another we can be on our knees thirsting for God like a dear in a desert. Our sins testify against us, and we stumble at noon day as in the night. Yet who condemneth? ‘It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.’

‘Be true to thine own self’ muttered Socrates. But it is not easy. That is because self-love closes the shutters which are inside our hearts. ‘And so in our secret virtues we believe,’ writes Morrison, ‘and in the hidden possibilities within us, but from our secret faults we turn away. That common attitude is intellectual cowardice. It is a man's first duty to face all the facts. To flatter other men is bad enough, but to flatter one's ownself is far more deadly. And therefore if you believe in hidden heights within you, I ask you also to believe in hidden depths and to cry as David cried, "Cleanse thou me from secret faults."’

This alone should make us all temper our judgments. It should make us all remember that we are human.

People see, people read, or perceive, not only with the mind but also with character. If I am bitter I will see every cloud being black. If I am happy I will see the whole world aflame with the grandeur of God.

Unto the pure all things are pure: but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mind and conscience is defiled. Tit 1:15  

 

And how do we know that? To fear humiliation, for example, is to fear to know oneself. It is to fear to know the truth. But to accept humiliation is to accept that you are not perfect. It is to accept you are human.

Did David behave himself presumptuously? Was he guilty of an anger which razed? He was human like we are. That is why we run to his psalms when we are troubled. He fought life’s battles like us, and though he was a king, he also wept like us. Sometimes he rose to heights of Pisgah, but in others he wallowed (like us) in the dust of death.

He was human like we are yet God heard him. He kept him and preserved him. He was kingly, yet so human. He never flattered himself for fear of humiliation. He was true to himself as a fallen being. He understood his nature. Do you?

Feeling very alone this day? Feeling very rejected? Feeling very bereaved? Please call on him without fear. ‘What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee’ cried the psalmist. And God heard him.

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To know that is also to know our humanity, to know our secret faults, and knowing that, we can be able to guard against presumptuous sins.

How can we Prevent Secret Faults and Presumptuous Sins?

By praying day and night. By hiding his word in our hearts.

By seeing life as large, as expansive. We should see it through a wider prism of possibilities, and not through a ‘hermeneutics of suspicion’ attitude.

Love sees good in everything: ‘Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.’ Love covers a multitude of sins.

Bad things come from a sick heart and body. So pray instead of accusing. Love instead of hating. Be content instead of jealous. Learn instead of defending your position. Finally change without abjuring your principals. But if everything else fails keep your head. To faint in the day of adversity is to have very little strength indeed. Quit yourself like a man. Be strong.

Being human is not easy. Being a Christian is even harder. We plant but we don’t know if it will rain. We look up to the sky hopefully, and we see some clouds, and our hope is revived. But suddenly the clouds disappear. And our hope dies. We get angry and rave. But suddenly a drop of water falls to the earth.

To be alive every day and to see another day – or crop, or harvest – is a matter of grace. To live or die is grace. To be rich or poor is grace. We rejoice and mourn because it is grace. We believe and have faith because of grace. We fall and rise daily because of grace.

What should we do without God’s grace?

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. Psa 19:14  

If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me: Psa 66:18 

But verily God hath heard me; he hath attended to the voice of my prayer. Psa 66:19  

Blessed be God, which hath not turned away my prayer, nor his mercy from me. Psa 66:20