Grace: The God in ALL and ALL and ALL: A Testimony

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work. 2Co 9:8 

ALL Grace

Measure it.

And you cannot exhaust the breadth, the length, the depth, and height of it.

It’s like water freely flowing from a rock.

And that Rock is Christ.

Grace and the Day I Got Saved

It was the saddest day of my life.

My whole life had just ground to a halt.

In my happier days, I had begged God never to save me. I clutched at my beer bottle at Florida 2000 nightclub on Koinange Street, when God visited me.

Life was good, and that life didn’t seem to have an end. Vaguely I wondered what thing would ever separate me from my tipple. And as if in answer to that thought of God rudely intruding into my mind, I begged him never to save me. But I added (as if to conciliate him): “Please save someone else who deserves it!”

I was in a nightclub for god’s sake. How could he visit me in a place like that? I learnt, a few years later, that I had been visited by God’s grace, and I didn’t know it.

But I Remained Hard as a Rock

Nevertheless, I ignored him. To get saved? That would mean giving up my whole life. I counted the cost, and I didn’t like it. That is what drove my anger.

On one hand I valued his concern: “Consider your ways.” I stared in awe at the utter meaninglessness of life before me. But on the other hand, the cost for giving up all that staggered me!

That is why I was at F2000 alone and at 4am.

The grace of God had just rubbed on me. But I didn’t recognize it. It wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last.

It would follow me (many years later) at my hospital bed at KNH, and this time I recognized it for what it was. It was at night in the ward.

And in that chilling stillness a single man appeared “from nowhere” beside my bed. He preached to me until the whole bed shook. God’s grace had caught up with me at last. And this time it never left.

How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation; which at the first began to be spoken by the Lord, and was confirmed unto us by them that heard him; 

God also bearing them witness, both with signs and wonders, and with divers miracles, and gifts of the Holy Ghost, according to his own will? Heb 2:3-4  

Wherefore (as the Holy Ghost saith, To day if ye will hear his voice, 

Harden not your hearts, as in the provocation, in the day of temptation in the wilderness: 

When your fathers tempted me, proved me, and saw my works forty years. 

Wherefore I was grieved with that generation, and said, They do alway err in their heart; and they have not known my ways. 

So I sware in my wrath, They shall not enter into my rest.) 

Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God. Heb 3:7-12 

ALL Sufficiency

By the time of my salvation I had nothing.

Everything had gone.

The business.

The health.

The wife.

The friends.

Everything that is called “life” had gone.

But strangely I felt a great relief (which was a far cry from the rollercoaster of emotions I had experienced before). The world would never again exert its power over me. I would no longer be subject to its tyranny: living the life of a false image, and the pressure to be liked.

“Come unto me all ye that labour… and I will give you rest.”

“And ye shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

It was like a fire was lit in my heart.

Every word of God spoke to me powerfully, as if it had been written exclusively for me.

Every need I felt, every question I had, every hunger, and every thirst, I found the answer for it in his word.

“Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.” 

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” 

“And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” 

I only had to name my hunger and Christ’s grace was sufficient for it.

I only had to name my thirst and Christ’s grace was sufficient for it.

That’s how I have stayed single and celibate for 25 years now.

ALL Things

And his grace has poured forth… into every part of my life. As it is written:

Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.

Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness. Isa 55:1-2   

By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 

And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 

And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 

And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. 

For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. Rom 5:2-5 

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. Joh 10:10  

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, 

Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen. Eph 3:20-21  

Sufficient Up to the End

How is his grace sufficient in the hour of unbelief? “Just believe.”

How is it sufficient in the hour of anxiety?

“Consider the lilies.”

How is it sufficient in the hour of pain?

“My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?”

He is sufficient in riches.

He is sufficient in poverty.

Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: 

But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life. Joh 4:13-14  

Come brother, come sister, let us drink to this amazing grace. “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” 

Even our faith, his gift!

Yes, guys, let us drink this to the hilt! 

Feelings, Moods, Conviction, Truth and Peace – Part 2

Finally, Think on These Things Php 4:8 

The Bottom Line is What is True?

Some say truth is flexible.

Some say truth is inflexible.

I am old fashioned and proud of it.

I love the old rugged truth.

It makes believing so easy.

In his word I meet my God, the great God.

Thine, O LORD, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty: for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O LORD, and thou art exalted as head above all. 

Both riches and honour come of thee, and thou reignest over all; and in thine hand is power and might; and in thine hand it is to make great, and to give strength unto all. 1Ch 29:11-12 

Forasmuch as there is none like unto thee, O LORD; thou art great, and thy name is great in might. Jer 10:6  

Who would not fear thee, O King of nations? for to thee doth it appertain: forasmuch as among all the wise men of the nations, and in all their kingdoms, there is none like unto thee. Jer 10:7  

Sometimes it is not about feeling, but about obedience.

Man changes.

God does not.

Man is finite.

God is infinite.

Man is unforgiving, bitter, and vengeful.

God’s mercy is everlasting.

Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. 

Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: 

Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; 

Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; 

Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's. Psa 103:1-5  

Jesus: The Way, the Truth, and the Life

Then I dip in the gospels and there I find my truth.

My Jesus.

“And you will now the truth,” he promises. “And the truth will set you free.”

What is the purpose of life, but to feel free?

In Christ I meet the perfect truth. And where true Christ is there is true liberty.

So the verse screams:

If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed. Joh 8:36  

But truth about what?

About Creation

For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: 

And he is before all things, and by him all things consist. Col 1:16-17  

About Man

When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; 

What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? 

For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour. 

Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands; thou hast put all things under his feet: 

All sheep and oxen, yea, and the beasts of the field; 

The fowl of the air, and the fish of the sea, and whatsoever passeth through the paths of the seas. 

O LORD our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth! Psa 8:3-9  

But O there is more!

O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me. 

Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. 

Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. 

For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether. 

Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. 

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it. Psa 139:1-6 

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psa 139:14 

About Woman

Oh, the glory! Oh, the joy!

And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Gen 2:23  

For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. 

Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. 1Co 11:8-9 

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Pro 18:22 

Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. Pro 5:19 

Who is she that looketh forth as the morning, fair as the moon, clear as the sun, and terrible as an army with banners? Son 6:10  

About Life

O this life! The depth of it! The length of it! The height of it!

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Joh 3:16  

And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst. Joh 6:35  

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Rom 6:23  

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. Joh 10:10  

About the Future

This world is not my home. Heaven is my home.

I am a traveler here. Pilgrim.

One day I will die, and I will be gone. Then I shall know no more pain, or sorrow or death.

Because this first world shall have passed away.

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: 

But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: 

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Mat 6:19-21 

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 

And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever. 1Jn 2:15-17  

Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. 

In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. Joh 14:1-3 

Yes, Think Again

So I am reminded to think on these things every day.

For my own joy.

For his glory.

Thinking is not sweet.

In fact it is boring.

But nevertheless think.

It is about discipline.

About commitment.

The road is narrow, but with him at the head everything is made easy.

Yes, for his commandments are not grievous.

They are for our peace.

As it is written:

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Isa 26:3  

There. The truth. There is a peace which truly passes understanding.

It is a mystery. Like contentment.

There is a path which no fowl knoweth, and which the vulture's eye hath not seen: 

The lion's whelps have not trodden it, nor the fierce lion passed by it. Job 28:7-8  

God knows us, and he knows what is good for us. Though we doubt. Though we fight. Though we pant. But in the end we see.

The LORD knoweth the thoughts of man, that they are vanity. Psa 94:11  

Job and his friends were very wise. Every word of theirs dripped with wisdom.

But in the end Job owned up:

I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. 

Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes. Job 42:5-6  

So too the wisest king that ever lived, saw.

“Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.”

God grant us to see, and to feel rightly. 

Feelings, Moods, Conviction, Truth and Peace – Part 1

Finally, brethren…Think on these things. Php 4:8

Can A Person Feel Nothing?

There is one fate which is the curse of sensitive people.

In the matter of feelings, they invariably tend toward two extremes: they feel too much, or they don’t feel anything at all.

Ok. Perhaps there is a middle ground. They feel less.

And it shows.

Is that indifference?

Is it rude?

What if that is the way I am?

I mean, I was born that way?

Can I do something about it?

These are the questions people ask about their character.

They believe, they even boast, that they can do nothing about it.

But a person can change.

That is the meaning of a new birth.

Being born again also means dying to our old nature.

But let me not digress!

Vacillations

For the whole of this month I have studied about feelings; my own feelings in particular.

Why do I have bad moods?

Why do they occur?

What triggers them?

I have caught myself shouting.

I thought I had changed.

I know I used to have a foul mood.

No expletives, thank God. I have never had the courage to utter a four-letter word.

For others it comes so easily.

I almost envied them.

The book of psalms is a book of crying.

It shudders with tears.

But in between the tone changes to that of hope.

David asks God to examine him. “Search me, O God, and know my heart.”

That is a cry.

David asks God to put his tears in a bottle.

Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book? Psa 56:8 

When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me. Psa 56:9  

Moods can change the face and heart. 

They can make it sing, or they can make it shrivel.

Moods can build a home, or they can shatter it.

Nevertheless moods are only a fleeting emotion.

They can swing from one pole to another.

It is God alone who makes our moods stable.

Thus saith the LORD unto you, Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God's. 2Ch 20:15b

The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace. Exo 14:14  

If it had not been the LORD who was on our side, now may Israel say; 

If it had not been the LORD who was on our side, when men rose up against us: 

Then they had swallowed us up quick, when their wrath was kindled against us: 

Then the waters had overwhelmed us, the stream had gone over our soul. Psa 124:1-4  

The Psalms are our thought bank.

We go to them to cash our worries there. “Cast your cares upon me.”

Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah. Psa 62:8 

Now on a light note, let’s go back to that question.

Can a person feel nothing?

My mom thinks so.

I saw this clearly in the year I lost my grandfather many years ago.

When I received the news, I received it so calmly, my calmness shook her.

“Your grandfather has just died, and you don’t show anything?”

Her shock was written on her face.

I guess she searched my face and saw nothing!

She wanted to see shock.

Probably she wanted to see tears too.

She wanted to hear a word, may be, which might have calmed her.

But I said nothing.

And that bothered her more than the news she had just received.

I made it worse.

I went back to my work as a bus driver!

Later that evening I went to the pub as usual.

We laughed and had the usual banter.

Later I told them about my grandfather’s death.

They took it calmly only as drunk men can.

“It was his time.”

“We shall all die.”

“People die every day.”

After about two years had passed this scene replayed itself in my consciousness.

It shocked me of course.

It ranked of callousness.

And for the first time I mourned my grandfather “proper”.

After two years.

I cried profusely.

I was alone in bed (and drunk).

But I doubt I should’ve cried like that if there was someone watching me!

The happy thing is that we have a God who we can take everything to him in prayer, including when we feel nothing.

For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope,

Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.

For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now. 

And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body. Rom 8:20-23  

Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 

And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. Rom 8:26-27 

In the end, concerning the question of my mom and I, I summoned reason to my defense.

Grandpa was a good man, yes?

Yes.

He had died, yes?

Yes.

What more could I have done?

It was a cold clinical analysis.

But that was before I got saved!