These 40 Years: The Years of Itching

Thy raiment waxed not old upon thee, neither did thy foot swell, these forty years. 

In Remembrance of God’s Faithfulness

At 62, I have nearly had 40 years of wilderness.

Remove the years of schooling.

And what remains is about 40.

There’s a sense we spend our “40” years as a tale that is told.

I read the above verse and it stirred a deep chord in me.

It is not that I loved him. But that he loved me still.

As Paul summarized his own life, I think I can so too about mine: “This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief” (1Ti 1:15).  

And yet God found me lovable!

I am not rich.

I am not famous.

But I have never lacked. I have been through the worst of worst, but in all of it God came through. I wasn’t even saved then. I hardly knew the door of a church for years. I am not a prayer warrior. I am a poet and a poor Sunday school teacher.

Yet in all these years God has been found faithful.

I have grown up now. I have shed off the childishness. I have shed off the fears and anxieties. Not that I am perfect. I am still learning.

But I understand God better.

Even more pertinent, I understand myself better.

I have come to myself!

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. 

My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. 

Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. 

How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! 

If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee. Psa 139:14-18  

Yea, I have been to hell and back many times, O LORD, but thou wast still with me.

What more can a man ask?

From Slavery to Freedom

It is interesting how the scripture story weaves all into one. Christ is the fullness of God.

Then they dwelt in tents in the wilderness.

But they still murmured.

Now we dwell in stone houses, but we still murmur.

It is not the house. It has never been the house. It has always been about the heart.

And only Christ can mend that.

We are born into the world (being dead in sins and trespasses).

And Egypt is the symbol of the world in scripture. “Egypt” is where we are born, and “Egypt” is where we get enslaved. The “Pharaoh” is our idol.

But in “Egypt” we cry unto the Lord and he hears and he saves.

“Let my people go.”

A Song Worth Singing

He redeems from the world and from the irons of the devil. As the psalmist ably sang.

O give thanks unto the LORD, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever. 

Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy; 

And gathered them out of the lands, from the east, and from the west, from the north, and from the south. 

They wandered in the wilderness in a solitary way; they found no city to dwell in. 

Hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted in them. 

Then they cried unto the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them out of their distresses. 

And he led them forth by the right way, that they might go to a city of habitation. 

Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men! Psa 107:1-7 

God has seen us through the Exodus.

God will see us through the Promised Land too.

Each one will get his inheritance.

Each one will have his mansion.

40 symbolizes completion. It is the stepping out after boot camp. So in Deuteronomy Moses gives the Israelites a recap, or a summary of all that God had done and meant to them, for their own sake.

And thou shalt remember all the way which the LORD thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or no. 

And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the LORD doth man live. Deu 8:2-3    

40 Years Full of Grace

40 is not the destination.

40 is the beginning of more.

And Abraham saw it.

It is was not Canaan which was the end. Canaan was the beginning.

By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went. 

By faith he sojourned in the land of promise, as in a strange country, dwelling in tabernacles with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise: 

For he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God. Heb 11:8-10  

Paul fleshens this out further in 1Corinthians 10.

Moreover, brethren, I would not that ye should be ignorant, how that all our fathers were under the cloud, and all passed through the sea; 

And were all baptized unto Moses in the cloud and in the sea; 

And did all eat the same spiritual meat; 

And did all drink the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them: and that Rock was Christ. Co 10:1-4 

So 40 has come and gone.

But what will it leave behind?

That is what is important.

Moses pleaded for his people.

Now Christ pleads for us. “Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them” (Heb 7:25).  

This is the bread which came from heaven, that if a man eat, he will live forever.

But Christ being come an high priest of good things to come, by a greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands, that is to say, not of this building; 

Neither by the blood of goats and calves, but by his own blood he entered in once into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for us. Heb 9:11-12 

What is the Result?

What has been the result of 40 years for me?

The itch has gone.

Now I am capable of more love.

More patience.

Better understanding.

More mercy.

More meaning.

More contentment.

More peace.

More joy.

From glory to more glory.

From faith into more faith.

These 40 years. God has been rich.

Count your years.

Count his blessings.

These 40 years.

It is not the end.

It is the beginning of a new thing.

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Rom 8:28). 

My purpose is not your purpose.

And neither is your purpose my purpose.

Let every man abide wherein he is called.

It is your purpose.

It is your meaning of life.

Find it. Enjoy it.

But only in God.

Remove him, and the itch returns.

 

 

 

This is Why We Fight

Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses. 1Ti 6:12 

The Unseen War

To believe is to be at war.

To read the Bible is to be at war.

To meditate.

To sing.

To share.

To pray.

It is war throughout.

God Taught His People How to Fight

Not that God is combative, but the days are evil.

And the whole world lies in wickedness.

It is exhorted: Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

To “work out” is to fight.

Daily we are at war.

Against pride.

Against anger.

Against fear.

Against lies.

Against unbelief.

Against false accusation.

Against laziness.

Against tiredness.

Against lust.

Against social media.

Against war at home.

Against war at church.

It is war up to the end. Be assured of that.

Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. 

But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived. 2Ti 3:12-13  

So we praise, and that is war.

We serve, and that is war.

We pray and that is war.

Fight on, brethren. You are not alone.

He is there with you.

Remember his promises.

Cleave to them.

He will never leave you nor forsake you.

The Old Nature Versus The New

To “work out” is to fight.

Because the old nature will want to pull you back. It won’t die easily.

The world will want to pull you back.

The devil will want to pull you back.

Temptations and trials will arise.

Will you fight or will you resign?

To pray is to fight.

Daniel fought.

Habakkuk fought.

Abraham believed God against hope.

The prophets fought.

Paul and Silas sang in prison.

But they kept the faith.

They fought to the end.

Will you?

And what shall I more say? for the time would fail me to tell of Gedeon, and of Barak, and of Samson, and of Jephthae; of David also, and Samuel, and of the prophets: 

Who through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, 

Quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. Heb 11:32-34  

 

Wrestle the Whole Night

Jacob wrestled with God the whole night.

In the morning he received the blessing.

How long have you?

And while you are at it remember to keep the joy!

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. 

So take up the whole armor of God. Girting your loins with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; and shodding your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace. And above all take the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And don’t forget the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

There is a war we can see. The bigger war is the one we can’t see. Hence we are enjoined to pray always with all prayer.

Persistently.

Perseveringly.

Without ceasing.

Travel Light

To win a war one must travel light.

To win war one has to fight well according to the Captain’s instructions. To win war one has to be healthy. To win war one must know one’s enemies.

Is it self?

Is it the world?

Is it the devil?

A good soldier separates himself from the world. A good soldier of Christ guards himself against pollution. 

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us. Heb 12:1  

A good soldier takes care whom he mixes with in this life.

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. Gal 6:7  

Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. 1Co 15:33  

A good soldier is loyal to his king. He does not regard his life but only that of the king.

A good soldier is faithful up to the end.

Only fear the LORD, and serve him in truth with all your heart: for consider how great things he hath done for you. 1Sa 12:24  

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Php 1:6 

Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it. 1Th 5:24 

A good soldier practices daily to stay fit.

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: 

(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) 

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. 2Co 10:3-5 

Think Eternally

Choose well your fights.

Not every war is your war.

War comes in many nuances.

You want to do right by God, but then you also have to labour and eat.
You want to be honest, but being dishonest pays a higher wage. You want to remain pure, but you also want marriage and children. You want to marry, and marry in church, but you also have to pay dowry.
You are jobless, but faith says trust God.
To count it joy, when there's no iota of joy, is nothing but war.

To wait on God daily. To fast. To read. To meditate. To pray. To hope. To hide. To cry. To sing. To visit. To counsel. To keep silent. To speak.

That is warfare.

It doesn't seem so.

But it is.

And having done all, stand.

The night may be long, but joy comes in the morning.

Christ is the same today, yesterday and forever.

  

Grace: The God in ALL and ALL and ALL: A Testimony

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work. 2Co 9:8 

ALL Grace

Measure it.

And you cannot exhaust the breadth, the length, the depth, and height of it.

It’s like water freely flowing from a rock.

And that Rock is Christ.

Grace and the Day I Got Saved

It was the saddest day of my life.

My whole life had just ground to a halt.

In my happier days, I had begged God never to save me. I clutched at my beer bottle at Florida 2000 nightclub on Koinange Street, when God visited me.

Life was good, and that life didn’t seem to have an end. Vaguely I wondered what thing would ever separate me from my tipple. And as if in answer to that thought of God rudely intruding into my mind, I begged him never to save me. But I added (as if to conciliate him): “Please save someone else who deserves it!”

I was in a nightclub for god’s sake. How could he visit me in a place like that? I learnt, a few years later, that I had been visited by God’s grace, and I didn’t know it.

But I Remained Hard as a Rock

Nevertheless, I ignored him. To get saved? That would mean giving up my whole life. I counted the cost, and I didn’t like it. That is what drove my anger.

On one hand I valued his concern: “Consider your ways.” I stared in awe at the utter meaninglessness of life before me. But on the other hand, the cost for giving up all that staggered me!

That is why I was at F2000 alone and at 4am.

The grace of God had just rubbed on me. But I didn’t recognize it. It wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last.

It would follow me (many years later) at my hospital bed at KNH, and this time I recognized it for what it was. It was at night in the ward.

And in that chilling stillness a single man appeared “from nowhere” beside my bed. He preached to me until the whole bed shook. God’s grace had caught up with me at last. And this time it never left.

How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation; which at the first began to be spoken by the Lord, and was confirmed unto us by them that heard him; 

God also bearing them witness, both with signs and wonders, and with divers miracles, and gifts of the Holy Ghost, according to his own will? Heb 2:3-4  

Wherefore (as the Holy Ghost saith, To day if ye will hear his voice, 

Harden not your hearts, as in the provocation, in the day of temptation in the wilderness: 

When your fathers tempted me, proved me, and saw my works forty years. 

Wherefore I was grieved with that generation, and said, They do alway err in their heart; and they have not known my ways. 

So I sware in my wrath, They shall not enter into my rest.) 

Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God. Heb 3:7-12 

ALL Sufficiency

By the time of my salvation I had nothing.

Everything had gone.

The business.

The health.

The wife.

The friends.

Everything that is called “life” had gone.

But strangely I felt a great relief (which was a far cry from the rollercoaster of emotions I had experienced before). The world would never again exert its power over me. I would no longer be subject to its tyranny: living the life of a false image, and the pressure to be liked.

“Come unto me all ye that labour… and I will give you rest.”

“And ye shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

It was like a fire was lit in my heart.

Every word of God spoke to me powerfully, as if it had been written exclusively for me.

Every need I felt, every question I had, every hunger, and every thirst, I found the answer for it in his word.

“Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.” 

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” 

“And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” 

I only had to name my hunger and Christ’s grace was sufficient for it.

I only had to name my thirst and Christ’s grace was sufficient for it.

That’s how I have stayed single and celibate for 25 years now.

ALL Things

And his grace has poured forth… into every part of my life. As it is written:

Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.

Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness. Isa 55:1-2   

By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 

And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 

And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 

And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. 

For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. Rom 5:2-5 

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. Joh 10:10  

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, 

Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen. Eph 3:20-21  

Sufficient Up to the End

How is his grace sufficient in the hour of unbelief? “Just believe.”

How is it sufficient in the hour of anxiety?

“Consider the lilies.”

How is it sufficient in the hour of pain?

“My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?”

He is sufficient in riches.

He is sufficient in poverty.

Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: 

But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life. Joh 4:13-14  

Come brother, come sister, let us drink to this amazing grace. “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” 

Even our faith, his gift!

Yes, guys, let us drink this to the hilt!