Desire and Calling: And Why Every Day’s Work is A Calling

Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called. 1Co 7:20  

As a bird that wandereth from her nest, so is a man that wandereth from his place. Pro 27:8  

The Other Meanings of Ministry

What is a calling? Nothing gives a new convert headache like that question. But I believe a calling is something which unfolds on a daily basis. So Paul began as Silas and a persecutor of Jesus Christ once. But later Silas became Paul as he now settled fully into his final calling.

The easiest way to go about it is to accept where you are now as your calling – so long as it is not something evil. As it is written, ‘Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning’ (Jas 1:17)  

We all started our calling in life as children. Then we grew up, and some veered towards the humanities and others sciences, and some became fathers and others mothers – and still others as singles – and many other professions and occupations.

The thing is to treat where you are now as your calling – as a sacrifice – and then do it happily as unto the Lord.

Having that kind of attitude also helps take away the drudge and monotony of daily life. Hence we are ambassadors and witnesses of Christ. Our whole life as a Christian therefore is an epistle or a letter ‘written’ by God and which is ‘read’ by all people.

God is the husbandman (farmer), and in a farm there are lots of works to be accomplished on a daily basis. So what do you feel he has called you to accomplish for him today? Then do it without doubt – and do it with all your might.

So you are a housewife and you are angry with yourself that you are ‘only a housewife’? Change that attitude today and begin to see yourself as a minister of God (as your pastor is!)

For through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father. Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God; And are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being the chief corner stone; In whom all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord: In whom ye also are builded together for an habitation of God through the Spirit. Eph 2:18-22  

And because it is written again: ‘Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God [giving no offence]’ (1Co 10:31). 

In Life You Will Not Always Get What You Desire

And so it will not always be that job which satisfies, or that woman, or that man, or that house and place where we stay. But remember God does not say no to our desires to spite us, but he does so to give us something better, or to fix a part in us which was about to fall.

That is how we are able to love people who are unlovable in this world – or to live lives which (on the surface) seem hungry. It is the calling. And always it flowers into a rose in the end.

‘What do you have which you didn’t receive?’ asked the apostle. So give back that love, that mercy, that hope and that understanding…

For the love of Christ constraineth us; because we thus judge, that if one died for all, then were all dead. And that he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again. 2Co 5:14-15  

And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation. To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation. 2Co 5:18-19  

So be ready for any eventuality, in season and out of season. No calling is ever easy. But the joy comes in the doing… in the walk… in the journey.

Have you never heard someone (slapping his forehead) and confessing to you later that ‘I had heard this voice but I refused…!’ or ‘I had had that idea once but I let it…’

Just don’t be the one slapping your forehead next time!

For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office: So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith; Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching; Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness. Rom 12:4-8  

Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are differences of administrations, but the same Lord. 1Co 12:4-5  

And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all. 1Co 12:6 

Even as I please all men in all things, not seeking mine own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved. 1Co 10:33 

 

From Desire to Lust is Only a Breath Away: And Why Desire is killing Men

For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God. 1Th 4:3-5 

 

We are More Creatures of Selfishness than Love

I think the chief business why our foreparents went into marriage was to make children – for children are wealth. So their purpose was purely utilitarian. Today’s accent is on making love – and it is a good thing and we are not going to stop it - ‘for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God.’ 

Today love is both a science and an art. One word wrongly placed in the mouth can ruin a whole evening or a month’s conversation. Love is a chemicals and aesthetic event. It makes everybody a poet - it is the palm wine with which words are eaten.

It is for this reason Paul chose (and advocated for) celibacy – not because he hated women and marriage – but because love demands one’s whole heart and mind and soul. And for someone whom God had called even before he was born – marriage can be a distraction (1 Co 7:35) and a cause for great unhappiness. I read in a biography of John Sung where he made the startling admission that he had been better off in his ministry if he had been single and not married.

Perhaps we should have more biographies of pastors today talking candidly about their marriages and ministry like that. What is their understanding of Paul in First Corinthians Seven? Has the Catholic Church got it wrong on celibacy?  Was Paul a misogynist?  What about Jesus? What about God? Should we revise the whole Bible for gender equality purposes?

A pastor who was officiating at a wedding gave the young man this advice: ‘A man must tell his wife that he loves her at least fifteen times a day… for that is what ladies want.’ Now take a man like Paul and give him that advice. And it will make that relationship rocky before it starts. When will he date? When will he love her (fifteen times a day), and when will he mull over his books and his thesis on Justification by faith in his Epistle of Paul the Apostle to the Romans?

That is what distraction means. It is a weighing in of two good options – and choosing one. It is hard, but we make it even harder when we can’t decide – or when we choose wrongly in life.

To enter into the business of love making today (and marriage) requires time, skill and purpose. Are you both of the same mind about it?

And then out of Desire to Please Men have started to die!

Nightfall should normally herald thoughts of peace and not anxiety. But now the bedroom has become a deathtrap. And men are no longer certain they will come out alive…

However men ought to learn that it’s ok to be humiliated once in a while. It is good for character.

Or perhaps we have lusted too much like the children of Israel lusted in the wilderness? God gave them flesh to eat until it started to come off their mouths – until it killed them (Nu 11:33-34). He gave them their request but sent leanness into their hearts. The pharmaceutical industries cannot fill that emptiness. Only God can. Let us first be at peace with him (and his truth) – and that peace will extend all the way to the bedroom.

Whoso walketh uprightly shall be saved: but he that is perverse in his ways shall fall at once. Pro 28:18 

The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them. Pro 11:3  

The righteousness of the upright shall deliver them: but transgressors shall be taken in their own naughtiness. Pro 11:6  

Lo, this only have I found, that God hath made man upright; but they have sought out many inventions. Ecc 7:29  

We Get Sanctified through His Word – For His Word is Truth

God is radical and he is looking for radical believers. Are there any commandments of him which you are uncomfortable with in this our modern age? Mind you God is the same yesterday, today and forever. That is a radical proposition. Can you live with that?

Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Col 3:5  

For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. Rom 8:13 

Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Gal 5:19-21   

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. 1Co 6:9-10  

For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. 

But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. Rom 8:6- 9

 

 

Desires and Temptations: Why there is No Easy Road to Freedom

‘and exhorting them to continue in the faith, and that we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God’ Acts 14:22b.

Don’t Despise the Day of Small Things

In their early years a few Bible College students make a vow to be like their famous apostle Paul (including myself). They announce from rooftops that, ‘It is good for a man not to touch a woman.’ But then they leave college. And today most of them are married. If you ask them what happened they say simply - ‘Reality.’

Now I don’t want to laugh at them. For ‘I am also a man,’ and people living in glass houses should not throw stones.

But I’m also aware that we live in an age where a man can say one thing today and another thing tomorrow – and still he will not lose friends (or sleep) over such a small thing. Rather he will gain more, especially if they be men.

And that troubles me. Because it does not raise but it lowers the moral bar by which all Christians are called to live by.

So the men who say that reality hit them are not so brave or inspiring. Who can trust them if a war broke out? And does this not prove true that money and sex (flesh) are still the greatest temptations for any living Christian, whether married or single?

To be or not to be Honest that is the Question

Now there are things which (we were taught) are very hard to recover when once they are lost – and the chief one is character. But men (even Christian ones) don’t take these things very seriously today. But have we come all this way only to be felled by our own sabers and at such a time as this?

For Christ can still be heard saying, ‘But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.’ And ‘No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.’ 

The reason why Jephthah is celebrated as a hero of faith (Heb 11:32) is because when the time of his hottest trial came Jephthah played the man. He did not flinch. And he was not alone as most Old Testament saints also never wavered in their faiths, ‘and others were tortured, not accepting deliverance; that they might obtain a better resurrection.’ Another lesson we were taught is that the beginning is nothing, but how the end will look like. These saints proved themselves men from the beginning to the end. As David sang: ‘LORD, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? who shall dwell in thy holy hill?... He that sweareth to his own hurt, and changeth not’ (Psa 15:4b). 

In the end what do you and I wish to be remembered for - as faithful servants or unfaithful ones?

Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward. Heb 10:35 

For we are made partakers of Christ, if we hold the beginning of our confidence stedfast unto the end. Heb 3:14 

Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. Heb 4:14  

Christ’s temptations appealed to three things, which John the Evangelist calls: ‘the lust of the flesh (hedonism), and the lust of the eyes (materialism), and the pride of life (egoism)’ – which ‘is not of the Father, but is of the world.’ These are the same tricks Satan uses to tempt us (as he did with Eve) even up to today. But Christ overcame, showing us that we too can.

For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted. Heb 2:18 

For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Heb 4:15

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. Jas 1:2-3-4   

Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him. Jas 1:12 

Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: Jas 1:13 

But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Jas 1:14  

Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. Jas 1:15  

Be Proud to be Different

One girl vowed she would be married in church. She stayed for years until people wrote her off. At last she did, almost on the ‘eleventh hour.’ But God had been faithful. He still is.

Loneliness is real. It bites hard. But ‘weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.’ God gives the grace. He gives a way to escape – ‘There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it’ (1Co 10:13).   

The disciples in John Chapter Six were awed by Christ’s teachings. They asked, in effect: ‘Who can believe such?’ And many stopped following him.

Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him. Heb 10:38  

But we are not of them who draw back unto perdition; but of them that believe to the saving of the soul. Heb 10:39  

Stick there. Hold up to the end. God is still able to furnish a table in the wilderness.

 

 

The Crowding of Desires and Where One Can Find True Love

Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Psa 37:4  

When it is Hard to Say ‘No’

We live in a day of relationships, sometimes complex, and we must have them whether we like it or not. As it is written, ‘For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself’ (Rom 14:7). 

Parents have not only their own desires, but they also carry in their hearts their desires for their children and even grandchildren – and for the wife for her husband. So one parent may want the child to be a lawyer, another engineer, another doctor, another entrepreneur – and the rest according to what they lack most in life. Probably himself he would love to be a poet but he knows he will be famous only after his death – and only after he has exited this world as poor as a church mouse. So he dabbles in all to please all – ‘and the last state of that man is worse than the first.’

In God Alone is our Chief Desire

One can break free from these entanglements (and desires) only through God. We give him our desires (our prayers) and he directs us in the path of finding them – or finding something better than what we had anticipated (‘like unto treasure hid in a field; the which when a man hath found, he hideth, and for joy thereof goeth and selleth all that he hath, and buyeth that field’) . We acknowledge him in everything and God directs us to the best, and ‘If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed’ (Joh 8:36).  

Mountains of Spices

Desires have a way expanding into the infinite, as if water in a river, breaking from its banks and consuming every object along its way. Desires are both beautiful and perilous. When they afflict an unstable mind the desire can turn into a nightmare. And desire grows both by what we have – and what we don’t – and sometimes it is the latter which is most intense and intoxicating.  

    As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. Psa 42:1 

    O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee         in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is. Psa 63:1

    My soul longeth, yea, even fainteth for the courts of the LORD: my heart and my flesh crieth out for     the living God. Psa 84:2  

    My soul breaketh for the longing that it hath unto thy judgments at all times. Psa 119:20  

    I opened my mouth, and panted: for I longed for thy commandments. Psa 119:131  

    The law of thy mouth is better unto me than thousands of gold and silver. Psa 119:72  

    I have rejoiced in the way of thy testimonies, as much as in all riches. Psa 119:14  

    Therefore I love thy commandments above gold; yea, above fine gold. Psa 119:127  

    I rejoice at thy word, as one that findeth great spoil. 

Lastly desire can be that chord and note in a song or flower garden…or that thing which lifts the mind from the mundane into the sublime -

    He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love. Son 2:4  

    Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick of love. Son 2:5  

    Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow     out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits. Son 4:16  

    I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse: I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have        eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk: eat, O friends; drink,            yea,     drink abundantly, O beloved. Son 5:1  

Desire too can be delusive – immersing one into a hole without an end – or plunging one into a room full of mirrors – and finally desire is progressive – growing into vintage like fine wine: ‘When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things’ (1Co 13:11), and ‘leaving the principles… let us go on unto perfection.’  

God Makes Streams in the Desert

So what is your desire my friend?

‘Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened’ (Mat 7:7-8).

Sometimes God gives the best wine last. So don’t despair. Don’t give up. Carry on. Soon he will bring you to the banqueting table – so you can sing with the congregation, ‘He shewed me the path of life: in his presence is fulness of joy; and at his right hand there are pleasures for evermore’. In the desert of the soul only God can satisfy. ‘And the parched ground shall become a pool, and the thirsty land springs of water: in the habitation of dragons, where each lay, shall be grass with reeds and rushes’ (Isa 35:7). 

    Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. Psa 37:5  

    Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be        moved. Psa 55:22  

    Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your            requests be made known unto God. Php 4:6  

    Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah. Psa     62:8  

    He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them. Psa            145:19  

    They shall be abundantly satisfied with the fatness of thy house; and thou shalt make them drink of         the river of thy pleasures. Psa 36:8  

In the East of Eden – Where the Fruit of Love First Blossomed

By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not. Son 3:1  

And Love ‘saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good’

We were created for relationships – first with God himself - and secondly with each other. In Eden God had made a place ready for love. He had made for us a garden, ‘So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them’ (Gen 1:27). And God blessed us. And God said unto us: ‘Be fruitful, and multiply,’ and make more relations.

We are a Living Soul Today Because the Breath of God is in us

The day got spent, and the night arrived. But the man was alone in that vast garden, and the first pang of loneliness gripped him. The skies above were lit, and the wind had calmed, ‘And the LORD God said, It is not good that [you] should be alone; ‘I will make an help meet for him’ – or her. We hardly know what God is up to, until it hits us like a bombshell. He is still a God of surprises. Are you lonely today? God sees it…

From Dust to the Poetry of Sleep and the Missing Rib

God was in the world writing his first book of love, ‘And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man’ (Gen 2:22). And Adam was enthused with a joy that echoed in the whole garden, ‘And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man’ (Gen 2:23).  

Adam rubbed his rib cage in perplexity. And then he rubbed his head. Love was beginning to work things in him which no man (or woman) had ever known. This was Eden. And this was the garden which Love had planted there for their use. Adam loved her, and Eve loved him back. ‘And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.’

Love, Jealousy and the Fall

But where love is jealousy is usually not very far away also. He saw two people in love and he didn’t like it (even today). The Bible says, ‘the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made.’ And he moved with dexterity, ‘Yea, hath God said…?’ And this interested Eve. It still interests us today. ‘And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat’ (Gen 3:6). 

‘Darkness at Noon’

Something happened that day. Beauty got besmirched and the glory grew faint. And now we had a free hand to do as we pleased – or what the devil was pleased to make us believe - ‘Yea, hath God said…?’ And something larger than an apple stuck in Adam’s throat that day. A wave of pain swept through his body. And then he felt his ribs ache. Something had given way, and a fatal misspelling of the commandment of God had happened, ‘Yea, hath God said…?’

Adam looked at his wife and his heart bled. The love which God had breathed in him choked him, and the vision of his eyes dimmed even though it was only at noon.

‘But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear… Their webs shall not become garments, neither shall they cover themselves with their works: their works are works of iniquity, and the act of violence is in their hands’ (Isa 59:2,6).  

Yea, hath God said she’s the only one for you… or has he said he is the only one you must have? Have you prayed about it? Have you waited? Have you made a place ready for love in your heart? Pray again. And wait again.  

Because we are now in a Place which is strewn with the Dust of death – And all Manner of Confusion

But God has refused to let go. This was his work. He must see it to the end – for his name’s sake. That’s why you and I are still alive today, praise God. And Jesus is here today, and love has progressed to something larger than a garden – even into a city, ‘For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come’ (Heb 13:14). Love goes to the utmost to make her his own bride.

So Can One Trust God for a Wife or Husband in Our Time?

The story of Isaac teaches us that one can indeed trust God for a spouse – and that God gives the best. But the story of his son Jacob is much more like our own – he trusted God in some things while he trusted in himself for others, especially where the matters of his heart were concerned. And the life of Jacob was one long in lies and jealousies and ‘all these things are against me’ until God changed his name and heart.

So God is still ‘able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think’ if we can only give him our whole heart and mind and soul first. And that is not a grievous commandment but it is for our own good - so help us God to believe it.

 

Marriage and the Problem of Modern Man and Woman 

And he gave them their request; but sent leanness into their soul. Psa 106:15  

The Outsider Looking In

Every Sunday between 6.15 and 7am you will find me beside my transistor radio tuned to KBC English Service, where I would be listening to the poet loving preacher Rev. Geoffrey Njenga delivering his weekly Hope for Tomorrow sermon. And he never disappoints.

Then one Sunday about a month ago, my antennae shot to full height when I heard the title of the sermon he was going to deliver, I think, the title went along this line: What is the Problem with Modern Man?

Two young men had approached the preacher for advice about their marriages which had hit strong winds. The Rev then went ahead to give a power packed homily on the state of modern marriage and why young men were encountering a rough terrain.

He then contrasted the state of modern marriages, which break easily, with those of our grandfathers which lasted their lifetime, and where the word divorce was rarely heard.

Encouraged by that sermon, I feel constrained to add my own views on that subject, but in the way of an outsider looking in. God willing, I intend to do it in a snapshot like series of articles covering that subject, until I feel I have exhausted it.

One reason why our grandfathers and grandmothers lived their marriages until the end is because traditions were on their side.

A man’s place was marked, as a woman’s was. You will see it even today in rural churches where men have their own rows and the women theirs. So each knew their place. Society had defined them. And they stuck with them until death.

And when the Men were as Hardy as Steel

The men of old were ardent stoics. They weathered all moods successfully (unlike today). They lived and died as true men, even when they were incoherent and unpredictable. And their women were fiercely loyal and submissive, even unto death. They were sturdy, ragged and literally they bore a hard skin.

There were no marriage counselors then, as often, the old man’s walking stick fulfilled that purpose successfully. In contrast today’s modern man may help with the cooking, baby sitting and washing… but still the right formula for a lasting marriage continues to escape him.

The man tries – but the further he tries the more he seems lost… and the only person who seems confident in these situations is the wife.

And so the Reverend Njenga, in very succinct poetry, sympathized with the modern man.

Things Have Fallen Apart

The note of heroic has changed. Our grandfathers were not only loud, but they were also perpetually angry. Their temper defined their status as men. He roared like a lion while the women and their children scampered to safety. Today the note of heroic is blurred. At one time the man tries to be warm like Christ, while at another his grandfather blood rises in velocity, but most other times he’s beset with a rigorous anxiety.

On the surface this problem may look complex, but underneath it, this problem is quite basic and as old as Adam. He fell, and we his children, fell with him. And the foundation broke. It has remained that way ever since.

Now we see darkly in a mirror. But God has not left us alone. He has left us a memory, ‘I will come to you.’ Has he come to you yet? ‘The world is charged with the grandeur of God.’ I pray that you can begin to see it.

So what is your greatest fear my dearest friend? Accept the reality. The looking glass will always be cracked on this side of heaven. There is no perfect husband or perfect wife. But God gives the grace, and then we can see, even if it is only in part.

Finally let us accept this is not our home - But trailing clouds of glory do we come/From God, who is our home. We are here looking ‘for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God.’ Can we accept his leadership? Can we accept what he wills as best for our life? Can we love him (and not this world) with our whole heart, mind and soul? It is the only way we can avoid the lean life later on.

Or are you afraid because love sniffs through the doorway?

We are in a dry season. But it will rain again. Only let us get our priorities right. And let us be daring enough to take the road ‘less travelled by.’ It is that which makes ‘all the difference.’ And because it is that which will make us full men and women again, so help us God. 

Love, Anxiety and Headache

And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things. Luk 10:41  

Fears or Obsessions?

I’ve had a persistent headache for a week now. But we also have been without power for a week! Probably the darkness touched a raw nerve somewhere in my mind.

Yet just across the road - at our neighbours’ houses - the lights glimmer like stars the whole night. And it has felt eerie sometimes, with our darkened house standing out like a phantom.

So it’s been an anxious week. And I thought (in those long, long dark nights) about anxiety. And I wondered - why is worrying – to some people – almost like second nature – but to others it hardly leaves a scratch?

But since childhood I have ‘known’ anxiety. At school (I remember) I used to worry about missing school, about my reports, and about my compositions. I was sad a lot too. But to the rest of the students school was like a prison, a sore punishment. They burned their books to ashes after school, and then they went home laughing. I kept mine. To me school was like heaven.

So I have learned (and accepted) that certain people – and of a certain disposition – are much more susceptible to these anxiety bouts than others – the sickly lot, the contemplative lot (introvert), the book lot, and the perfectionist -

Of course in extroverts it is the fear of silence that can drive them to start seeing things. Peter the disciple was such a one extrovert. He was highly driven, seeing things others didn’t see, and attempting things others wouldn’t dare. It was anxiety that made Peter to begin to sink…and for anxiety Peter forgot Jesus completely (denied him).

‘But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not’. If it wasn’t for Jesus praying for Peter he should’ve lost it – and us too who believe.

But I have prayed for you, and that neither will love sift you.

When Anxiety and Love can Result in Disaster

I have known guys who wouldn’t touch a woman for fear of blowing it, and, unconsciously, they have gone ahead and blown it even before it started… and yes such anxieties can qualify as clinical (remember biologist Andrew Steyn in God’s Must Be Crazy 1, and where he attempts to explain to Kate his tendency to be uncoordinated in her presence, but accidentally and repeatedly knocks over a number of objects in the process?). Of course that is psychological!

But should a believer also believe that – or accept that?

No. Check Boaz, and check his calm demeanor, which is a believer’s dream, ‘Tarry this night, and it shall be in the morning, that if he will perform unto thee the part of a kinsman, well; let him do the kinsman's part: but if he will not do the part of a kinsman to thee, then will I do the part of a kinsman to thee, as the LORD liveth: lie down until the morning’ (Rth 3:13).  

Yet Boaz seemed perfectly at peace, as if finding a handmaiden sleeping at his feet was a normal every night occurrence!

So it is different how you believe as a believer.

Jesus Disciples too were Given to their Anxious Moments

But there is a sense in which to be a believer is also to be subject to anxiety.

·      And they reasoned among themselves, saying, It is because we have no bread. Mar 8:16 

·      Then there arose a reasoning among them, which of them should be greatest. Luk 9:46  

·      And they kept that saying with themselves, questioning one with another what the rising from the dead should mean. Mar 9:10  

·      Tell us, when shall these things be? and what shall be the sign when all these things shall be fulfilled? Mar 13:4  

And that might sound like a recipe for anxiety. Probably their worry was about displeasing their master, perhaps their worry was whether he would still love them the following day. Plus the fear of rebukes can make a person to be perennially anxious. It is why some find themselves apologizing for no purpose or wrong… except the one existing in their imagination. And always it is an exaggeration -

But they don’t know it. Anxiety has made a bondage of them. And that is not the Lord’s doing but of the evil one. One is a healthy anxiety, while the other is not.

What is the Cure for Anxiety?

First, living in sin will aggravate the sense of anxiety, as we can see in David, ‘When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long’ (Psa 32:34). ‘For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned…?’ (Psa 51:3-4). But he felt different after he had repented, ‘Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man unto whom the LORD imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile’ (Psa 32:1-2).  

So to be on God’s side is to always have a helper and a friend, especially in those ‘evil day’ moments. Also to have God’s promises at your fingertips is to know joy and peace at all times, even at night.

·      He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still. Then are they glad because they be quiet; so he bringeth them unto their desired haven. Psa 107:29-30 

·      From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psa 61:2  

·      Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Rom 8:35  

·      Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Php 4:6-7   

And that is the peace which you can begin to enjoy even right now – if only you can call on his name without shame or fear.

(Oh the electricity has come, thanks be to God! And the headache is gone too!)