Bible Men: Jonathan: His Love and Shame

My father hath troubled the land. 1 Sam 14:29

Fathers and Sons: The Vain Wars

We live in a patriarchal society. A father does not feel complete unless his son resembles him, not just physically, but also spiritually. And therein lies trouble. For though the father wants his son to resemble him, the son might never want to be like his father.

True, in early childhood every son wants to be like his father. The morning is still bright and the sun is not furious. But then time happens. The light dawns, and the darkness is swept away. A distant disdain sets in, and the earth starts to get scorched.

It is always a rude awakening, and a few sons (and daughters) ever come out of it “alive.” But then the mercy of God is great. It knows no bounds. There are no prison doors it cannot break. Do you believe that? “Thus saith the Lord GOD unto these bones; Behold, I will cause breath to enter into you, and ye shall live” (Eze 37:5).  

Saul wanted to kill David for no cause. But his son Jonathan objected. Saul wanted to enjoin Jonathan in his hatred and murder of David. But Jonathan loved David like his own soul! The son knew right when it is right and wrong when it is wrong. And murdering an innocent man is never right, though one’s father (or mother) says so.

“My father hath troubled the land.” And we know Saul had shown himself ready to kill his own son twice.

There are things which are impossible to say to one’s parents. It was a nightmare for Kafka once and it was a nightmare for Beethoven. But nothing is impossible to say to God. Have you tried him? 

The Distance from Hate to Love

“Then Saul's anger was kindled against Jonathan, and he said unto him, Thou son of the perverse rebellious woman, do not I know that thou hast chosen the son of Jesse to thine own confusion, and unto the confusion of thy mother's nakedness?” (1Sa 20:30).     

The wording of this insult is telling. Jonathan, his son, was the intended object. The wording of the insult delineated his mother’s character instead.

But was this the deranged state of mind of Saul or was this the general trend of men everywhere? It is said of the Jewish man that he thanked his God every morning that he wasn’t born a woman. And our own fathers were enamoured of this epithet “Nyukwa!” (Your mother!) It was just one word, carefully spat out, but it left one’s head reeling.

And so in King Saul and his son Jonathan we have a glimpse into the workings of a relationship between a father and a son, between the heart of darkness and the heart of light. “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Eph 6:12).  

Jesus Came to Open Prison Doors

That war is still in progression. And the bone of contention up to this day is not whether a child looks like his parents, but about what moral bent one should take – is it a man’s own way or God’s?

Granted, our fathers were ignorant. They had no God or hope in this world. They did their best though they did it most savagely. Fear meant love, so today we have a glut of love instead. We know better. But neither have we fared better. All have sinned and come short of the glory of God. “As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one” (Rom 3:10).  

So it’s not what your parent did with your life, but what God can do with it if you let him. Holding onto grudges is wrong. It’s fighting the will of God, which is what Saul did, and in the end it is vain, though Satan would never allow one to “see” that.

In contrast his son Jonathan accepted it. He removed is robe and gave it to David. Jonathan knew God had chosen David. He sought reconciliation, his dad chose to fight. Jonathan chose the way of friendship and not war. Therefore Jonathan died in peace. But not so his dad. The fruits of Jonathan’s obedience were enjoyed by his son, Mephibosheth, who lived with David in his palace at Jerusalem.

Parents, your children will never be like yourself. That’s always a losing battle. Rather strive to make them resemble God, because that’s always the winning way.

So which way will you choose? Is it reconciliation or war, obedience or disobedience, light or darkness? “The people which sat in darkness saw great light; and to them which sat in the region and shadow of death light is sprung up” (Mat 4:16).  

What fruits are you storing up for your children? Is it hate or love? Is it war or peace? Give them God for their inheritance and the rest will come naturally. “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Mat 6:33). 

Finally choose the way of love. It never fails. Never! “And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing” (1Co 13:2).  

Moving From the Tent into the City of God

There are things which will never change - truth and beauty. Traditions will be swept away but the word of God will remain forever.

Sin is painful. It will continue so until we are clothed in new bodies. (2Co 5). While we are in this tent we shall continue to groan. We shall continue to moan. But a new earth and heaven is coming (Rev 21).

In the city of God there will be no pain or tears or death. It’s God who has promised that. Do you believe him? Please do!

To open the blind eyes, to bring out the prisoners from the prison, and them that sit in darkness out of the prison house. Isa 42:7  

Then the heathen that are left round about you shall know that I the LORD build the ruined places, and plant that that was desolate: I the LORD have spoken it, and I will do it. Eze 36:36  

If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed. Joh 8:36