These 40 Years: The Years of Itching

Thy raiment waxed not old upon thee, neither did thy foot swell, these forty years. 

In Remembrance of God’s Faithfulness

At 62, I have nearly had 40 years of wilderness.

Remove the years of schooling.

And what remains is about 40.

There’s a sense we spend our “40” years as a tale that is told.

I read the above verse and it stirred a deep chord in me.

It is not that I loved him. But that he loved me still.

As Paul summarized his own life, I think I can so too about mine: “This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief” (1Ti 1:15).  

And yet God found me lovable!

I am not rich.

I am not famous.

But I have never lacked. I have been through the worst of worst, but in all of it God came through. I wasn’t even saved then. I hardly knew the door of a church for years. I am not a prayer warrior. I am a poet and a poor Sunday school teacher.

Yet in all these years God has been found faithful.

I have grown up now. I have shed off the childishness. I have shed off the fears and anxieties. Not that I am perfect. I am still learning.

But I understand God better.

Even more pertinent, I understand myself better.

I have come to myself!

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. 

My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. 

Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. 

How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! 

If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee. Psa 139:14-18  

Yea, I have been to hell and back many times, O LORD, but thou wast still with me.

What more can a man ask?

From Slavery to Freedom

It is interesting how the scripture story weaves all into one. Christ is the fullness of God.

Then they dwelt in tents in the wilderness.

But they still murmured.

Now we dwell in stone houses, but we still murmur.

It is not the house. It has never been the house. It has always been about the heart.

And only Christ can mend that.

We are born into the world (being dead in sins and trespasses).

And Egypt is the symbol of the world in scripture. “Egypt” is where we are born, and “Egypt” is where we get enslaved. The “Pharaoh” is our idol.

But in “Egypt” we cry unto the Lord and he hears and he saves.

“Let my people go.”

A Song Worth Singing

He redeems from the world and from the irons of the devil. As the psalmist ably sang.

O give thanks unto the LORD, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever. 

Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy; 

And gathered them out of the lands, from the east, and from the west, from the north, and from the south. 

They wandered in the wilderness in a solitary way; they found no city to dwell in. 

Hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted in them. 

Then they cried unto the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them out of their distresses. 

And he led them forth by the right way, that they might go to a city of habitation. 

Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men! Psa 107:1-7 

God has seen us through the Exodus.

God will see us through the Promised Land too.

Each one will get his inheritance.

Each one will have his mansion.

40 symbolizes completion. It is the stepping out after boot camp. So in Deuteronomy Moses gives the Israelites a recap, or a summary of all that God had done and meant to them, for their own sake.

And thou shalt remember all the way which the LORD thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or no. 

And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the LORD doth man live. Deu 8:2-3    

40 Years Full of Grace

40 is not the destination.

40 is the beginning of more.

And Abraham saw it.

It is was not Canaan which was the end. Canaan was the beginning.

By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went. 

By faith he sojourned in the land of promise, as in a strange country, dwelling in tabernacles with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise: 

For he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God. Heb 11:8-10  

Paul fleshens this out further in 1Corinthians 10.

Moreover, brethren, I would not that ye should be ignorant, how that all our fathers were under the cloud, and all passed through the sea; 

And were all baptized unto Moses in the cloud and in the sea; 

And did all eat the same spiritual meat; 

And did all drink the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them: and that Rock was Christ. Co 10:1-4 

So 40 has come and gone.

But what will it leave behind?

That is what is important.

Moses pleaded for his people.

Now Christ pleads for us. “Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them” (Heb 7:25).  

This is the bread which came from heaven, that if a man eat, he will live forever.

But Christ being come an high priest of good things to come, by a greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands, that is to say, not of this building; 

Neither by the blood of goats and calves, but by his own blood he entered in once into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for us. Heb 9:11-12 

What is the Result?

What has been the result of 40 years for me?

The itch has gone.

Now I am capable of more love.

More patience.

Better understanding.

More mercy.

More meaning.

More contentment.

More peace.

More joy.

From glory to more glory.

From faith into more faith.

These 40 years. God has been rich.

Count your years.

Count his blessings.

These 40 years.

It is not the end.

It is the beginning of a new thing.

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Rom 8:28). 

My purpose is not your purpose.

And neither is your purpose my purpose.

Let every man abide wherein he is called.

It is your purpose.

It is your meaning of life.

Find it. Enjoy it.

But only in God.

Remove him, and the itch returns.